"A Tulsa Tale"

A fan's hilarious account of meeting Ron at the Trek Expo con, Tulsa, Ok,
Saturday 19 June, 2004.

Oh my Lord. I am still dancing - still totally in awe and in rapture, and completely intolerable to most of my friends. :)

My ... er... performance at the convention will be remembered for a long time. I cannot believe I did what I did, and neither could Ron, but I did it.

His Q&A session was at 2 pm and I was there with a reserved seat up front, because evidently I don't feel the need to eat for the next week and spent all my money on the ticket. So I sat down, almost hovering in anticipation, and out he came. I ran up front with other people and took a zillion photos, and he sat down. He was so humble and affable and freakin' hilarious. Dang that man is funny. So self-deprecating. Anyway, he had a bottle of water in one hand and the microphone in the other. And when he sat down he put the water in his lap and propped his feet up underneath the tall director's chair they had out there. And he began to talk and answer questions.

I was like 5th in line, and the people before me were all deferential and thanking him and calling him Mr. Perlman. And I was so flustered and dizzy, when I walked up there, I just said "Hi Ron." And he cocks his head and says "Hi." And I could hardly breathe and I said, "I have a question: Can I have that bottle of water between your thighs?" The whole place erupted with cheers and clapping and he made like he was going to toss it to me, and so I held out my hand. And then he actually got up out of his chair and walked to the front of the stage - and I don't remember any of the noise of the background, I was shaking so hard, bombs could have been going off - and I ran up there and got his bottle of water. He gave me a look I will never forget as long as I live. He smiled this totally devilish smile, and looked at me sidelong as if to say "I can't believe you asked, and I can't believe I'm giving this to you." And then I had to walk back and ask a real question. I was so flustered I don't remember anyone around me, but I was clutching that bottle for dear life. He said, "Don't drink out of it, it's not all water." I didn't even thank him, I felt like an idiot, I was so drunk with glee.

After his Q&A was over, and I left, a friend told me that the announcer came back on stage and said, "Well, you know we have this charity auction later and I was backstage trying to talk Ron into putting more bottles between his legs so we could auction them. He's not going for it."

I had more total strangers come up to me and ask if I was going to build a shrine around it when I got home. It was hysterical. My face hurt all afternoon long from the very wide grin I wore. You know what's slightly creepy, the bottle still smells like him. Anyway, I carried the thing with me the whole day - and yes drank from it. It's the little things, you know. It's nice to spend an afternoon waltzing in delirium because someone gives you a used beverage.

Anyway, later when we were allowed to get autographs, we were all queued by rows, all 700 of us, in this giant snaking line - and moved through like in a cafeteria. No pictures, no personalized autographs - we were told very strictly. And we had to give our stuff to a guy who gave it to the stars (Brent Spiner was there too) and then they gave it to some other person who would hand it to us. But when I got to Ron's table, he smiled at me and said "Whatcha got there?" And I was blushing so hard it felt like a fever, and I said "Yes, sir, it is indeed your water. I'm sorry, I realized that I took it from you really early and you were probably up on stage the whole hour wanting something to drink - and here I had your water." And he smiled and said, "You want me to personalize this?" (meaning the book I had given him) and I said "Yes, sure, my name is Anne." And so he actually personalized my book and as I walked away he said "Stick around, I may be thirsty later."

And my legs were shaking and I was smiling one of those huge, whole-faced smiles, with the eyes closed and the nose wrinkled up, and I was actually squealing when I reached a friend of mine who came with me.

But then I didn't want to leave. So I stood up on top of these bleachers they had erected for the fans, looking down on the cordoned off section where the stars were signing. I waited and watched and everyone had gone through - and Brent and Ron were mass-autographing stuff, probably for sale at later conventions. And I sighed. And this man next to me asked what I was thinking. Something about if I wanted to see Brent Spiner, and I told him no, I wanted to get a close up picture of Ron and was thinking about climbing over the chainlink fence and leaping down. And this guy shouts over the fence to one of the convention staff below, "Hey, can she come down and take a picture?" And she actually says yes!! And so I bound down the risers and sneak through the security barricade thing, and meet this woman who says "NO FLASH." And I nod. And I came up to Ron's table and he looked up, looking rather exhausted by this point, and I am looking mightily sheepish, and I asked, "Sir, I was wondering if I might beg a moment of your time to take a picture..." And he just waves me around the table, which I practically hurdled to get there. And I sat down next to him and squeezed as close as I could. And got my picture taken. And then I kissed him on the head. And he said "God bless you." And stupid me - I didn't even say anything back! Argh! I feel like such an idiot. I just fled. And then I started singing, full-voiced "Fly Me to the Moon." Everyone was smiling. I had my water and I had my photograph and I haven't quite come down off that high yet. It all feels like a dream.

Gleefully yours,
Anne Hunt.