Before introducing Ron, Marie lists some of his past projects and then a clip from the second season pilot episode of
“The Magnificent Seven” is shown. (Click here for photos)

MARIE:  Please welcome RON PERLMAN!

(Ron does a little dance as he walks down the steps, and this is obviously related to the previous guest appearance before the commercial break, which I didn’t get to see.  Ron then shakes hands with Marie and Donny.)

DONNY:  After this segment we’re gonna get you out there as well.  Did you see that lesson?

RON:  Uh-huh.  I brought my horse and he takes that class so…. (Ron does another little dance movement)  It’s very hard to stay on him though, when he gets into that Latin thing.   (Laughter from Donny and Marie.)

DONNY:  You know, I was doing some reading on you.  I didn’t know that your dad was a famous jazz drummer?

RON:  He wasn’t famous, no, he had a brief moment as a… (Donny breaks in)

DONNY:  But he was a great jazz drummer in his day….

RON:  (Smiling)  He was a jazz drummer, okay? We don’t need to overstate here..

( Laughter from audience. Ron turns to audience, laughs and shrugs.)

MARIE: (Also laughing)  Tell us what you really think!

RON:  I unfortunately never got to hear him play because he hung it up before I was born.  He started having kids and decided that food was an integral part of our daily experience.

MARIE:  But you play an instrument, right?

RON:  No.

MARIE:  No?

DONNY:  You didn’t get into drums or anything?

RON:  Well, we all went to the same High School in New York, George Washington High School, a public school up in Washington Heights.  And so, there was the Perlman tradition. My dad had been in the GW Band, and my brother followed in his footsteps - he was a jazz drummer. (Ron turns to the audience)  There’ll be a transcript of this later.

[How well he knows us!]

MARIE: (Laughing)  I think I LIKE you!

(Laughter from audience.  Ron gives her a big smile.)

RON: Anyway, it was just a matter of course that I go and meet the band teacher/leader, and stuff, and pick up in the Flaming Perlman Tradition.  And I was such a bad drummer that I figured that if I played really quietly nobody would notice.

(Laughter from Donny and Marie, and the audience.)

RON: (Continuing)  I was like the Marcel Marceau of percussion.   (More laughter from audience.)

MARIE: I think he’s fascinated (indicating Donny) because his son plays drums.

RON: Oh really?

DONNY:  Yeah, two of my boys play drums.

MARIE:  Now, you won a Golden Globe for “Beauty and the Beast”?

(Ron nods, audience clap and cheer.)

MARIE: I watched that show all the time.  I loved it.  You played him with a heart.

(A large picture of Vincent and Catherine is shown in the studio)

MARIE:  Look at that.  Isn’t that so great?

(Loud clapping and cheering from audience.)

MARIE: Now a lot of viewers viewed you as a … you know… a romantic hunk.  What did you think of that?

RON: It made me laugh!  (More laughter from audience.)  I mean, you know… I’m not… there’s the Tom Cruise school…and there’s guys like me, you know, but, um…

MARIE: (Laughing)  What do you mean by that?

RON: Well, I’m not exactly.. like.. chiselled, you know?

MARIE:  I think you’re very handsome!

RON:  (Smiling)  Thank you.  (Turning to audience)  Did it sound like I was fishing?   Fishing for a compliment there?  I hope it didn’t sound that way.  But, um.. I wake up one morning and the phone’s ringing, and my manager’s saying, “hey, you just made one of the twenty most sexiest guys in the US Magazine reader’s poll!”

MARIE:  Bet that made you feel good?

RON:  Made me laugh for about six months!  (Ron turns to audience, laughing and pointing at himself)  Who - me?  Ridiculous!  But it took four hours of makeup to get me there, so you know, I … (Marie interrupts him)

MARIE: Now you know what it feels like to be a woman.

RON:  Yes I do, but that’s a whole other interview…

(Laughter from Marie)

DONNY:  Ron, tell us about “Magnificent Seven.”

RON:  Okay.

DONNY:  It’s on the air now, but there’s an interesting story about Mag 7…

RON: Oh really?  I hadn’t heard any interesting stories…

DONNY: It was cancelled, but it was brought back by the viewers, who e-mailed, from what I understand.

RON: The miracle of the people out there.

MARIE:  Don’t you love that?  I love that.

DONNY: Yes, that’s great.

(Audience clap and cheer.)

RON: (Also claps and turns to audience) Thank YOU… thank YOU.

MARIE:  Are you enjoying doing the show?

RON:  It’s big fun.  It’s like .. you know… a kid growing up in New York and… BANG! (Ron points his fingers in the shape of an imitation gun)  and now I get to do it for real.  Strap it on...  scratch...  spit,  (laughter from audience)  get on a horse, mosey… I do a lot of moseying.

MARIE:  Riding on out to the sunset.

DONNY: Well, I gotta tell you something, tune in on Friday nights, 9 pm on CBS, and watch Ron Perlman scratch and spit, okay?  It’ll be great.  Don’t miss it.  Ron, thank you so much.

(Donny and Marie both shake hands with Ron. Lots of loud cheering and clapping from the audience.)